Buddhist Monk Jokes

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

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Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?

Arrested for procurement of a minor. Trust me on this one.

What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast?

Ommm' lettes!

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

What did the Buddhist monk say to the pizza guy?

Make me one with everything.

Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces?

Because they're acetic.

How do Buddhist monks compare interests?

With zen diagrams!

What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

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Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity

Why don't Muslims fill out online forms?

Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah.

Compare Jokes More Compare Jokes

Why did the circus animals go on strike?

The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share.

Why did the music critic compare the song to a foul-mouthed mixture of sand and wind?

Because it was Da-rude Sandstorm

Attachment Jokes More Attachment Jokes

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

Why can't Buddhists vacuum in corners?

Because they don't have attachments!

Interest Jokes More Interest Jokes

Why did the banker leave his job?

he lost interest

What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice?

Awarewolf

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window?

He was a cereal defenestrator.

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why should you never trust someone straight after coitus?

Usually they're lying

Why does that sign say Grand Canyon?

Are you sure this is the right way Lemming: Just trust me, ok

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

What do you get when two Samoans Fall off a couch?

Tufaloffahsofa

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

What's the penalty for bigamy?

Two mothers-in-law.