Refuse Jokes

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What did Tammy say after she refused to vaccinate her child?

It's never to late to get an abortion.

This joke may have profanity.

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Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office?

Because it was a mail dominated industry

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

What superheroes refuse to fight in North Carolina?

The X-Men

What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

Why did the hotel refuse hospitality to the Navy?

They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen.

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis?

Cause Allies don't like axis powers

Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?

because they all refused to make sandwiches.

What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles?

The pro-lease department

101 Tear-Off Lunchbox Notes with Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids, Funny Inspirational Encouragement for Kids, Space to Write Personal Message

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What do you call a Sith lord who refuses to fight?

A sithy.

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A Private Tutor.

Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend?

She refused to swallow animal by-products.

Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.

What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop?

A joggernaut.

Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

How do you confuse a feminist?

Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles?

A candle-nah-brah

Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts?

He hates camping

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Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

When Lil John goes to a hotel and they ask him if he wants turn down service, does he refuse?

That's all.

Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office?

Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.

Why don't Muslims fill out online forms?

Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah.

Why did the airport luggage checker refuse to date the depressed man?

he had to much baggage

Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

Why did he refuse help?

He was in The Nile

Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons?

Because they keep stepping on the string.

Why are Werewolves such pessimists?

They refuse to look at the silver lining.

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Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask )

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why don't anarchists accept the metric system?

They refuse to have liters.

Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

He refused to integrate.

What do you call a dress that refuses to learn?

Clothes-minded.

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why do Congo gamers refuse to play with Belgians?

They're afraid of getting owned

Why did the woman refuse to pay for her Brazilian waxing?

A: Because it was a total rip-off.

What do you call a pair of stubborn testicles?

A refuse sack.

What do you call a guy who refuses to serve people from Finland at his bar?

A man with unfinnished buisness.

What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

Rink injustice!

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

What do you get when someone refuses to pay the bills?

A Greek.

Why did the clown refuse to juggle?

He didn't have the balls to do it.

Why are refugees bad at math?

They refuse to integrate.

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch?

Because he had Somalia.

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts?

Abstinence.

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?

Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

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Post Office Jokes More Post Office Jokes

Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?

He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.

What two words contain the most letters?

A: Post office.

Phelp Jokes More Phelp Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What does a depressed girl do when she needs to get a lot of work done?

She takes Sadderall.

How do lesbian carpenters work?

No studs. All tongue in groove.

Surgeon Jokes More Surgeon Jokes

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

What do feminists and Redditors have in common?

They both have multiple triggers that will cause them to down vote those who don't think the exact same way as them.

What causes German Earthquakes?

Teutonic Plates. I'm sorry I'll find my own way out

Seaman Jokes More Seaman Jokes

What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine?

They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen.

Why did the seamen cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning.

Axis Jokes More Axis Jokes

Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany?

It was x-axis

How do beer companies track their sales?

On dos axes

Id. Jokes More Id. Jokes

Why was Freud a bad poker player?

he would always go all Id.

What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.