Chocolate Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

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How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out?

Malteasers

What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?

A runny bunny.

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt choclate.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

How can you tell God is a man?

If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate

How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

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What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Study Jokes More Study Jokes

Why is it hard for men to understand women?

Because you have to study abroad to understand them.

Why did the gynecologist take a vacation out of the country?

To study abroad.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?

They might be laced with something..

Why do all the best golfers keeping buying socks?

They get a hole in one!

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

What do you call a sheep giving birth in a bedroom?

Bedlam

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

What's it called when you try not to get knocked unconscious by a Taser?

Resisting a rest.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?

A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.

What is the difference between an abusive relationship and The Chainsmokers ?

Nothing, The hits keep coming

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Why did the storm trooper decide to buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the right droid he was looking for.

Chewbacca Jokes More Chewbacca Jokes

What does Han Solo call a sick Chewbacca?

A Chewie

Why would anyone trust Chewbacca to fly the millennium falcon?

He's such a wookie pilot. I had three Star Wars jokes prior to this. But none were any good.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What happened to the T?

America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"

What is the difference between Reddit and children's television?

Children don't throw tantrums when there's a rerun of some content.