English Language Jokes

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

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What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What's the longest word in the English language?

A native Texan saying, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."

What are the two saddest words of the English Language?

What party '

Which came first. . . social media or dumb people?

AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language

What's the longest word in the English language ?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the english language?

Five more years of Cameron"

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly.

What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language?

Anticlimactic

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What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: "Nobody's perfect!"

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

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Draft Jokes More Draft Jokes

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

Why doesn't Bill like old houses?

A: He's afraid of the draft.

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

Why was the Cyclops a terrible teacher?

He only had one pupil.

When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

Cameron Jokes More Cameron Jokes

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the english language?

Five more years of Cameron"

Who's there ! Cameron ! Cameron who ?

Cameron film are needed to take pictures !

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

Texan Jokes More Texan Jokes

What do you call a showoff Texan?

tatious.

What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend?

He dates his other sister.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Who came up with hugs?

The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing Why are you holding me " "Just trust me."

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

Selfie Jokes More Selfie Jokes

What do you call an egotistical anorexic?

A selfie stick.

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why is Charlie Sheen always seen smiling?

Because he's so damn positive!

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!