Forgive Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

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Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer?

Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)

What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite. ...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

How did the Mexicans get across the border?

They went through Juan by Juan. Forgive me.

What should a redditor receive after a terrible joke?

Karma. (Please forgive me)

What did the priest use to forgive the sinners that shot up his church?

A holey bible. And, yet, it still made more sense than Scientology.

How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin?

When around both, one eventually stops moving. Forgive me.

What did the deer first say when he got to church?

Deer God, please forgive me of my sins.

How do you insult a Catholic?

Any way you like, they have to forgive you!

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Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Why do people find Anne Frank so attractive?

Because she is smoking hot

Lil Jon Jokes More Lil Jon Jokes

What did the farmer say to Lil Jon?

Turnip for what

What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

Turned down 4 watt

Juan Jokes More Juan Jokes

How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb?

Juan.

What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

Dinner for Juan

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What's a redditor who makes pirate jokes' favorite letters?

It could be R and the C, but they definitely aren't OC.

How does a Redditor greet a woman from Kuala Lumpur?

M'alaydy

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

How does the balance sheet of a bank look like as of today?

On the left side there's nothing right and on the right side there's nothing left...

John Jokes More John Jokes

What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ?

John.

How bad is it?

John: "How bad is what "

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.