Geologist Jokes

Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

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Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite!

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

What do you call a geologist who can't hear?

Stone deaf...

How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes?

He fell into it.

Where do geologists go for entertainment?

Rock concerts.*

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Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

Why was the geologist arrested?

He was doing crystal math.

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

What did the geologist say to the Ginger after he evaluated her precious metal?

Red, it gold.

What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist ?

Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny.

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What do you call a Spanish man who has just got out of hospital?

Manuel...

Who's the coolest guy in the hospital?

A. The Ultrasound Guy

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint?

I'm always taken for granite!

Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

Sediment Jokes More Sediment Jokes

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

Thanks for sediments

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

Why did the cyclops quit his job as a teacher?

He only had one pupil.

Sinkhole Jokes More Sinkhole Jokes

How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes?

He fell into it.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a sinkhole?

Quatro Sinco

Appreciate Jokes More Appreciate Jokes

What do women and computers have in common?

What do women and computers have in common? You don't appreciate them until they go down on you.

Why didn't the skelton cross the road?

Answer in comments so you can fully appreciate the joke)

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why did the man fall in love with the banana whilst on a London attraction?

Because it was a-peeling on the Eye.

What do you call 2 metalheads falling in love?

A match maiden heaven