Henry Viii Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

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Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

What's the correct what to enter a Henry VIII convention?

You just Amblein.

Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ?

She was trying to get ahead !

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?

He liked to chop and change !

How does Henry VIII like his coffee?

Decap.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What type of wife always knows where her husband is?

A widow

Why did the snowman leave his wife?

Because she got plowed by another man.

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ?

If one bit you you could ride it to hospital !

What kind of fish can you find in a hospital?

A sturgeon.

Henry Jokes More Henry Jokes

Who invented fractions?

Henry the 1/8

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane?

A boeing constrictor

Why did the hipster cross the road?

To get to a place you've probably never heard of.

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

What do french fries and friends have in common?

They both die if you chop them

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

Why was the lumberjack executed?

He committed treeson.

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

Two guys walk into a bar . . .

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

Anne Boleyn Jokes More Anne Boleyn Jokes

Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ?

She was trying to get ahead !

Who's there ! Anne Boleyn ! Anne Boleyn who ?

Anne Boleyn alley !