Henry Viii Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

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Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

What's the correct what to enter a Henry VIII convention?

You just Amblein.

Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ?

She was trying to get ahead !

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?

He liked to chop and change !

How does Henry VIII like his coffee?

Decap.

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Why do ghosts carry tissues?

Because they have BOOOOgers.

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What do you call coffee made from coal?

Tarbucks.

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

A farte

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

Why did the frat boy throw away his curtains?

He was trying to get some Natural Light.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

When pianists fall in love what is their favourite position ?

the four hands (you dirty minds)

What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?

My hand.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

Why did the programmer's girlfriend move back home so quickly?

She returned because all he ever did was split her in the middle for log(n) time.

Why is 10 traumatized forever?

Because he was right in the middle of 9-11.

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

Why did the alcoholic chop off the little boy's legs?

He wanted his *Kidneys*.

What is the difference between a baby and a onion?

No one cries when you chop up the baby.

Correct Jokes More Correct Jokes

What is the saddest thing in you're life?

That you clicked on this link only to correct my grammer....

Who corrects Santa's grammar?

A subordinate Clause.

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

Whats the difference between a hospital and a terrorist stronghold?

I dunno I just fly the drone.....