Lap Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

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How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

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Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a computer?

You can punch information into a computer.

What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?

A co-operating system.

Demon Jokes More Demon Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

Why do Demons and Ghouls hang out together?

Because Demons are a Ghouls best friend.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what ! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...

Why do 9 out of 10 bear moms prefer minivans over sedans?

All the extra cubholders.

Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!"

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why are there so few Mexican athletes in the Olympics?

Because most of them who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.

How many armed men does it take to extort an Olympic athlete?

A Brazilian.

Exorcise Jokes More Exorcise Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Which is better a stool or a box to stand on?

You stand on a stool, though I prefer the ladder

What do you prefer, honey?

A smart woman or a beautiful woman -Neither sweetie, you know I only have eyes for you

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use?

A salt rifle.

What kind of bread always goes wrong?

A rye