Mrs. Claus Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

What do you call Santa's wife?

Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

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Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do Kodak film and John Lennon have in common?

They both came in a yellow box

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

Early Year Jokes More Early Year Jokes

Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?

Because Santa came early this year.

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why is it expensive to be a criminal?

Because the police charge you.

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What did the banana peel say when asked what happens after it's thrown into the compost pile?

IDK, i'm just a banana.

Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?

A: They got married in the spring.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What do space aliens put on their windows?

A: Venutian blinds.

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?

They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror?

Han Double

What is best potato?

Latvian potato is best potato. Is kind you spend whole life looking for. Also, low calories.