Netflix Jokes

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

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What do whales do on dates?

Netflix and Krill

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house?

Netflix and pill

What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills :D

Why couldn't Mario ever watch Netflix with Peach?

Because the princess was always on another Castle.

What's the best thing to do when your tinder date never shows?

Netflix and Jill

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix

What is a whales favorite pasttime?

Netflix and krill.

What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?

Both stream instantly.

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix?

He liked chillin.

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How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

What do you ask a Mexican girl you like?

Netflix and chili

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

What do Worf and Jadzia like to do to relax?

Netflix and Trill!

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Freeze Jokes More Freeze Jokes

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

Both are a glaze

D Jokes More D Jokes

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

Chill Jokes More Chill Jokes

Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.

Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch- gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation ?

Your dentist.

Crown Jokes More Crown Jokes

What do you call a crowned man in gridlock?

Human trafficking

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

Pug Jokes More Pug Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Pug?

A pugilist!

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

Peach Jokes More Peach Jokes

What did the tomato say to the peach?

Nice pits."

Why does Mario hate Punchbug?

Because he bruises like-a Peach!

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the Skunk say at Church?

Let us spray

What gets you hot, baby?

Me: mmm, talk to me in an accent. H: Zoinks, like, there's a ghost! Let's get out of here Scoob! M: *swoons*