New Jokes

Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one?

A retail store.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

a new last name

What made Bruce decide against Jacqueline for his new name?

He was afraid his nickname would be Jockie.

What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name.

What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A new last name!

Who's there ! Courtney Pine ! Courtney Pine who ?

Courtney Pine tables I need a new one !

Which is better an old ten dollar bill or a new one?

An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.

How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two-one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

What does the bride of a Russian man get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A new last name.

What do religions and gender have in common?

You hear about a new one every day and none of them make any sense.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's big and long that a Polish girl gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?

At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

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Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What should i do now?

to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"

What's up, punk?

Nothing," he replied, "I've just never seen a man using hair rollers before."

Contact Jokes More Contact Jokes

How does Super Mario contact the dead?

He uses a Luigi board.

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

Mercede Jokes More Mercede Jokes

Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes?

DANKE!"

New Jersey Jokes More New Jersey Jokes

What's the difference between garbage and a girl from New Jersey?

Garbage gets picked up!

Why does New York have all the lawyers while New Jersey got all the garbage dumps?

New Jersey got to pick first

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night?

X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark.

How do yo get to Sesame Street?

Unzip my pants and ask big bird

New Years Resolution Jokes More New Years Resolution Jokes

What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution?

Something you do for the first week of the new year.

What was the console gamer's New Years Resolution?

1280x720

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?

A: They are both up to something.

Why are thieves the best actors?

Because they always steal the show.