Salmon Jokes

Why did the salmon cross the road?

To get to the front page

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Salmon

What did the salmon say to his shy Japanese girlfriend?

Don't be koi.

Whats pink and smells like salmon?

trout

How long did it take the fish to go to the store?

salmon or eight minutes.

What did a disappointed Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he fished up a Salmon?

IT'S NOT A TUNA!!!"

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?

To the river bank!

What do you call a fish that's on its way to somewhere?

Salmon en route

What did the salmon say when it hit the wall?

Dam"

What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon?

The Bear Glare.

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

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What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand ?

Birdsthigh fish fingers !

What do you call a Salmon that sets a good example?

A roe model.

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Chant Jokes More Chant Jokes

What did the blonde Buddhist say when she finished her 88th prayer?

I literally chant even..."

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

Spare Jokes More Spare Jokes

Why does society think less of a man when he strikes a woman instead of sparing them?

Because a strike only requires one ball while a spare requires two balls

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.

Deposit Jokes More Deposit Jokes

Where do polar bears go to deposit money?

A snowbank

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?

To the river bank!

Nutella Jokes More Nutella Jokes

What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

Breed Jokes More Breed Jokes

What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?

A visit from the university board of ethics.

How much water does a frog need to breed?

Knee-deep! Knee-deep! Knee-deep!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

Why is this wet?

she asks. "Because it's below C level."

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman?

She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.

What's the opposite of evening?

unevening.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of bonds deals with the bad guys?

James

What type of math is dead?

Aerith-matic..