Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "
Elementary, my dear Watson.
Scratching at the inside of his coffin.
BART: I don't know where my hair starts
A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)
It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.
Cos I'm quitting today."
Current.
Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.
Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!
Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."
They both run at the first sign of emotion.
SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.
Because March, April May.
Because it brings Mayflowers.
Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job Me : Salary
One has a job.
Because I never smile. :(
she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."
I'll tell you tomorrow...
A statistician.
At least the food won't take away their rights. Do a little oppression of their own.
Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.
a HIPAAcrite
Because he is always Gosling around..... A co-worker snickered so I figued share.
do NOT respond with "I know, right !"
A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.
