Woodpecker Jokes

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

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Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

How do you get a tree pregnant?

With a woodpecker

Why did the owl owl ?

Because the woodpecker would peck 'er !

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

How do you tell a boy tree from a girl tree?

Boy trees have woodpeckers.

What did the woodpecker say to the doughnut?

You got the sweetest hole I ever stuck my pecker in.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?

A headbanger !

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What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?

A headbanger !

What's a young birds favourite game?

BEAK A BOO!

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What did one bird say to another bird on New Year's?

WOW THAT YEAR FLEW BY

What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

Why do men get erections while they sleep?

So they don't accidentally roll out of bed.

What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?

Hiding the erection.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

Why did they plant trees in Harlem?

Public transportation.

Pinnochio Jokes More Pinnochio Jokes

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

Deliver Jokes More Deliver Jokes

What do the post office and the San Francisco 49ers have in common?

They don't deliver on Sunday

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

Parrot Jokes More Parrot Jokes

Where'd you get that?

The parrot says, "In France. They're everywhere!"

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark ?

A bird that will talk you ear off !

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a chemist no?

Nitrogen Monoxide

What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!