Butcher Jokes

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

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Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

Why was the Butcher depressed?

Because his life was in shambles.

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty"

What did Batman say when he went to the butcher?

Got Ham?

What is it that you do?

He: "I'm a butcher."

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the butcher die ?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ?

Butcher your arms around me !

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

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Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life?

Because the Steaks are too high.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

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At least I'm not black.

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What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's arse?

A mechanic.

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

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What did the surrealist butcher name his shop?

Salvador Deli

What do you call a person who makes surrealist sandwiches?

Salvador Deli.

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What did one beef patty say to the other beef patty?

Will you be my grill friend

What do you call a woman made out of beef?

Patty

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It has a special place in their hearts

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What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas?

A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.

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Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love?

If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.

How did Steve Jobs die?

From PC

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What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

What do mad cow disease and PMS have in common?

Angry heifers.