Carve Jokes

Why did I carve a heart with me and my boyfriends initials into a tree?

To sharpen the knife

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What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

A: Have everybody chip in.

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

How do you start a stampede in Ethiopia?

Carve a turkey

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

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Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Why do we call lady parts beavers?

Because they devour wood.

Why aren't cars made out of wood?

Because they wooden go.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call an Asian flying a plane?

A pirate.

Why can ducks fly so well?

They're high on quack.

27 Jokes More 27 Jokes

How many grains of sand are there in the world?

As many as 27. I'm referring to the number of times good ol' 27 was reposted.

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

A: Have everybody chip in.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did the kid fall out of the tree?

I shot him Why did the second kid fall out I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out Peer pressure

Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree?

Ruff Bark

Thanksgive Turkey Jokes More Thanksgive Turkey Jokes

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What is another name for a knife?

A chopstick!

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

Why is Cinderella so bad at football?

A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.