Carve Jokes

Why did I carve a heart with me and my boyfriends initials into a tree?

To sharpen the knife

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What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

A: Have everybody chip in.

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

How do you start a stampede in Ethiopia?

Carve a turkey

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

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Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Why did the Tinman not go to the ball?

His heart wasn't in it.

What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite Jane Austen quote?

There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart."**

27 Jokes More 27 Jokes

Who is missing an egg?

there are 27 people in the room but on 53 eggs, you know what that means, someone is missing an egg.

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A. Wave at her.

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Why is Halloween one of the most popular holidays in West Virginia?

It gives them an opportunity to .

What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween?

Depressed

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders?

A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know " whenever you ask them a question.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?

Bob

Stampede Jokes More Stampede Jokes

What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?

Cows-mopolitan!

What did the impatient cow say at the stampede?

MOOOOOOVE !

Ethiopia Jokes More Ethiopia Jokes

What's the fastest animal in the world?

A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal ... The ethiopian chasing it.

What caused the civil war in Ethiopia?

Too many Negus.

Statue Jokes More Statue Jokes

What did the statue say to the chair?

Chair? Statue?! :D

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

A: Have everybody chip in.