Eskimo Jokes

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?

A Klondike.

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What to you call an Eskimo peeping Tom?

Tommy Tookalook

What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?

Polaroids! I'm so bored...

Why did the eskimo spend 3 hours arguing with the return counter?

Because the warranty is void if the seal is broken.

What do you call an Eskimo peeping tom?

Tukaluk

How many eskimos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Obviously.

What happened when the Eskimo teens went clubbing?

They got new fur coats.

What do you call an Eskimo who's a peeping tom?

Itookalook

What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone?

It was counter-inuitive.

What do you get when you cross a mexican, a queer, and an eskimo?

A snow-blower that doesn't work.

Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide?

Because it was too cold out tide.

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Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant?

Because he was cold and calculating.

What does an Eskimo girl say before she is about to lose her virginity?

Careful Dad, don't squish my smokes."

What do you call an Eskimo optometrist?

An optical Aleutian. I actually made this one up. But if someone else said it first, I wouldn't be surprised.

What do you call it when an Eskimo makes a dirty joke?

Inuit-endo

Why didn't the Eskimo want to go hunting?

I don't know, guess he just wasn't Inuit.

What do you call the secret Eskimo organization that controls the world?

The Igloominati.

Why did the Eskimo break up with his girlfriend?

He just wasn't really Inuit...

How does an Eskimo build his house?

Igloos it together.

What does an Eskimo do if his house falls down?

Igloos it back together.

What do you call a detective novel about eskimos?

Whodinuit

What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the Eskimo schoolgirl?

What's an ice girl like you doing in a place like this

What do you call an eskimo with no friends?

An iglooser

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

Where is your mother from?

The second Eskimo says "Alaska."

What do Eskimo's and Ziploc bags have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

What did the eskimo say when her water broke?

Oh no, my ice cracked!

What is snow?

No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this.

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Polaroid Jokes More Polaroid Jokes

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the snow for too long?

Polaroids.

What kind of photograph does Arnold Schwarzenegger take?

Polaroids.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What does batman take in his beverages?

just...ice.

What the hell is an Ovechkin?

The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why did the gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chickens foot.

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

What does R. Kelly say to his kids when they do something bad?

Urine trouble

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many SCPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

DATA EXPUNGED

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

to get to the other side

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Whats yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

What has more lives than a cat?

A frog -- it croaks every night.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the only thing better than Roses on a Piano?

Answer: Tulips on an Organ.

What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP?

A clop cop.

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.