Glove Jokes

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

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What did the mittens say on their wedding day?

I glove you.

Why do Eskimos have wide noses?

Because they pick their nose with their gloves on.

What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet.

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

Why didn't the panda use a glove when playing baseball?

Because he caught everything bear handed!

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

How do your pants fit?

The man responded, "Like a glove".

What's red and green and wears boxing gloves?

A fruit punch.

What did the handless box get for hristmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

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How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."

Why do hitman always wear gloves?

because theyre always wacking guys off....

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

What did the boy with no hands get for a Christmas present?

Gloves.... Just kidding he hasn't got into it yet.

What present did the kid with no hands get?

Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

How do you think his pants fit him?

Like a glove.

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive?

A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."

What did Michael get for his birthday?

Gloves ... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it Not Michael

What did the finger say to the thumb?

A: I'm in glove with you.

What did the child with no arms get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.

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Who invented the equation?

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What's black and white and can't fit through a door?

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All of them.

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What do you call two healthcare professionals hanging out?

A paramedics.

How did the paramedics know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in the glove box

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Why don't elephants like martinis?

Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose

What smells better than it taste?

A nose

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What's a homophobe's favorite drink?

fruit punch

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A fruit punch.

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What is something long and hard that a Polish Bride gets on her wedding day?

A last name.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

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How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

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Why don't catholics wear condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

How do you turn a little boy into a little girl?

With a small loan of a million dollars.