Magician Jokes

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

Pollygone

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What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What do you call a dog that is also a magician?

A Labracadabrador.

What do you call a beauty pageant for cartographers and magicians?

Miss Direction.

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall?

Hocus Focus

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?

Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...

What do you call a dog that is a magician?

A Labara Cadabarador

What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician?

I can't see you anymore.

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What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti?

Pesto chango

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?

Both do hat tricks !

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

When is a farmer like a magician?

A: When he turns his cow to pasture.

What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book?

Who-dini

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

What did the magician say to the aerial student?

I work on a different plane

What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What did the hippopotamus do to the magician?

He hippo-tized him!

What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician A: David "Cop a Feel" ...ba dum cha!

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Magic Trick Jokes More Magic Trick Jokes

What does a bro say when asked if he needs help doing a magic trick?

Nah brah, tadah brah!

what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

Stunt Jokes More Stunt Jokes

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

What's the difference between the strippers and the circus?

The circus has a cunning array of stunts.

Hat Jokes More Hat Jokes

How did Canada name their country?

They picked random letters from a hat. C, eh N, eh D, eh

Why are do many Italian-Americans named Tony?

When they came to Ellis Island, not one of them could speak a lick of English, but they all had "To NY" on their hats.

Magician Wand Jokes More Magician Wand Jokes

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a police baton?

The magician's wand is used for cunning stunts

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

David Cop Jokes More David Cop Jokes

What actor touches every girl on set?

David Cop-a-feel

What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician A: David "Cop a Feel" ...ba dum cha!

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Where do esport players go if they get arrested?

Guantanamo ebay

Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

He was caught taking a leek.

Cunning Array Jokes More Cunning Array Jokes

Whats the difference between a circus and The Rockettes?

The circus is a cunning array of stunts...

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

Polish Jokes More Polish Jokes

How do you sink a polish war ship?

You put it in water

What's delaying the Polish space program?

A: Development of a working match.