Pear Jokes

What do you call two pears?

A pair.

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Why was the fruit farmer losing money?

He couldn't grow a pear

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.

What got the apple into skydiving?

Pear pressure.

Why can't you have two Apple watches?

Because then it would be a pair (pear)!

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

What are twins favorite fruits?

Pears

What did the apple say to the pear?

Man, go away!

Why do you have a pear on your head?

He replies, "It's not a peach, it's a plum!"

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.

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What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese.

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

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What did the tv get for Christmas?

Replaced

What did the Buddhist get for Christmas?

Presence.

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What type of dog suffers from being inbred?

A hotdog

How many posters who type 'r/antijokes' on this sub only do it for karma?

Seriously, I don't know. Maybe 50?

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How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in.

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.

How JokeExplainBot spent his weekend?

Explaining his wife.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do boys and algebra have in common?

They are both trying to find their X and they don't know Y.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

United States Jokes More United States Jokes

What's better than being the first Black President of the United States?

Being the 45th white one.

What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?

We wouldn't have to pay her as much.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do recent college graduates and felons have in common?

It takes three to five years before anyone will hire them.

What are your intentions?

Cessna: "To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating." ATC: "I meant in the next five minutes not years."