Stomach Jokes

What did the policeman say to his stomach?

Your under a vest

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What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.

Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa?

Because it can't be taken on empty stomach

What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache?

I falafel.

Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

What did the food say to the other food, while inside a stomach?

I won't digest yet.

Why was the lions stomach enormous?

Because he finally swallowed his pride

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

Why can't ethiopians take med pills?

Cause they can't take 'em with empty stomach.

How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant?

Run around until you get pooped out

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What do you call a bison that's sick to his stomach?

A barffalo

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How do you best serve burned food?

Coal'd.

What do you call a rotten lamb chop?

Food gone ba-a-a-a-a-ad.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no ideer.

What do you get when you mix a pickle and a deer?

A dilldoe

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How did the cow feel when it couldn't produce milk?

Udderly useless.

How does the farmer count up his cows?

with a cowculator.

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How did the puppeteer meet the President?

He pulled some strings.

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

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What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

What has 2 legs but can not walk?

A cripple.

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What do you call a Five Guys restaurant in Africa?

3 Guys

How do you find the fastest man in Africa?

Roll a penny down a hill.

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What did the police officer want from the criminal store?

Just ice.

What do you call a police officer standing on dog poop?

On duty

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What did the sick gyro say to the other gyro?

I falafel.

What does an injured gyro say?

I falafel."