Timmy Jokes

Why does little Timmy keep throwing up gang signs?

Because he ate too much of them.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Where did little Timmy go during the bombing?

Everywhere

What's wrong with little Timmy?

Mom, sad): He went to Jared.

What did Timmy get for Christmas?

Cancer

Where was Timmy when the bomb fell?

Everywhere.

How did Timmy dodge the oncoming car?

He didn't

Where did Timmy go when the bombs fell?

Everywhere.

Why did Timmy fall off the swings?

Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there Not Timmy..

Why didn't Timmy get his parents Christmas presents?

He's an orphan.

What's that girl?

Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash

Why did Timmy fall off his bike?

Because Bill threw a mattress at him.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing?

Me: why Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there Him: Not Timmy.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do you call a kid who's dad is Jamaican and mom is Chinese?

Rastafriedrice

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

How did Jared from Subway get food poisoning?

He ate a 5 year old weiner

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU?

Because there is no Turkey

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

What do you get when you put a live rabbit in the oven?

A hot cross bun.

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls talk so much?

They have four lips

What does a girl want more than anything?

Nothing. She is fine.

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas?

Cancer

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.

Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom?

Force of Hobbit.

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

How to scare parents?

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

What is this world coming to?

Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise