Agree Jokes

Why does everyone agree when you judge someone's voice?

Because you make sound judgement.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service."

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

What do 9 out of 10 people agree on?

A gangbang

This joke may have profanity.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did Daredevil say after begrudgingly agreeing with The Punisher's brutally honest opinion that he's just a half-measure?

You're such a Frank Castle."

What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan?

I'm in, but I'm not decent."

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

When do men insist that women are illogical?

When a woman doesn't agree with them.

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

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Debate Jokes More Debate Jokes

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

How do you catch defish?

With debate.

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

Why did the terrorist go to Sonic?

To have a Blast!

What did terrorist say to my friend Jack?

Hi Jack!

American Jokes More American Jokes

How do you turn German beer into American Beer?

Drink it

What do Americans do immediately after winning the World Cup (Soccer)?

Turn off the Playstation.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the police say to the man who wouldn't go to sleep?

He's resisting a rest!"

What seperates man from animal?

Divorce!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common?

You break them at the middle and load them from behind

What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain

How long do owls live?

Six and a half books.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.

Why didn't George like driving through tunnels with people in his car?

He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why is 12 the highest number rednecks can count to?

How else would they know how many cans are in a 12 pack.

What's Subway Jared's favorite TV show?

19 Kids and Counting