Australia Jokes

How do you write poop in Australia?

dood

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

What's the difference between Australia and Yogurt?

Culture

What do you call an Australian singer who was born in Australia?

Aussie Aus-born.

What do space-related scientists call themselves in Australia?

Austronomers

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

Why wouldn't you hire bears from Australia?

Because they don't have the necessary koalafications. (Derived from: )

What's upside down and downside up at the same time ?

A kid with cerebral palsy living in Australia

Why does Saudi Arabia import so many camels from Australia?

They've got to get their 72 virgins

Why can't bears get jobs in Australia?

They don't have the right koalfications!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

Why is a blonde like Australia?

A: They're both down under and no one cares.

Who is the most famous DJ in Australia?

DJ Redo

What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?

A dingo-ling !

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ?

Big holes all over Australia !

What did one cracker say to the other?

Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."

Whats the difference between Australia and a yoghurt?

Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture

Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Why was Jesus not born in Australia?

Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

Why did jesus not go to australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate."

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Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Why does Bill Nye get sleepy after writing calligraphy?

Because of the Nye Quill.

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

What do you call a horse that lives next to you?

A Neigh-bor. Sorry for my horrible dad joke.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?

Swimming trunks!

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the only thing politicians stand for?

Reelection.

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

Yogurt Jokes More Yogurt Jokes

What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community. Haha, happy late 4th of July.

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

M8 Jokes More M8 Jokes

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

What did one galaxy say to the Lagoon Nebula?

Whats up M8?

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What did the stoic dolphin say to the whiny whale?

Cut out all that blubber and you can be more like me.

When the barber is done cutting his hair, the cowboy goes back outside. And guess what?

Pony gone.

Saudi Arabia Jokes More Saudi Arabia Jokes

Who is the most hated actor in Saudi Arabia?

Shia Labeouf

Why is Pokemon Go Banned in Saudi Arabia?

Because not all Pokemon know selfdestruct.