Award Jokes

Why did the scarecrow get an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

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What do you award to someone who comments in a thread from a month ago?

Reddit Old

Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper certificates?

They hate plaque buildup.

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car?

Because he got an award for revvin' it.

Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.

Why don't dentists display their awards?

Because they want to prevent plaque build-up.

Why are there no awards for excellence in betas?

Because no one wants to be the master beta tester.

What's the award for being the world's best dentist?

A little plaque.

Why did the scare crow win the award?

He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun.

Why did the farmer win the Nobel Prize?

There was a clerical error. The award was intended to go to Malala Yousafzai for her advocacy work for education for young girls.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

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What award was given to the best knock-knock joke winner?

The No-Bell prize.

Which honorary degree is to be awarded to someone who has made contributions to PHP ?

Ph.P.

What award was given to the best Knock Knock joker?

The No-Bell prize!

Which award did the knoc knock joke get?

The nobel prize.

What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

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Education Jokes More Education Jokes

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run!

What do you call the kids claiming "We don't need no education"?

Comfortably Dumb

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Which three American Generals won the most during the cold war?

General Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics.

Who has more testicles?

contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How do you make a door cry?

You twist its knob. edit: grammar

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Fast Car Jokes More Fast Car Jokes

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

What's the fastest car on earth?

A rental car.

Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes More Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

What's pretty and expensive but has no use?

Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

She couldn't stand making Kermitments

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams?

Shoot for the Tsars.

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!