Grind Jokes

Why did the coffee taste like mud?

It was ground a few minutes ago.

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What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend?

Have I got an ax to grind with you.

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?

13 blackberries and 5 apples

What do giants and strippers have in common?

They both grind on bones to make their bread.

Why do the proms stop after high school?

Just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean I don't still need to grind on people to Lil' Jon songs.

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High School Jokes More High School Jokes

How does Alabama keep alcohol out of high school?

Change the drinking age to 25

Whats the difference between a terrorist camp and a high school?

I don't know, I just fly drones.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What do Hillary and Monica have in common?

They both blew it.

Why couldn't Hillary win the election?

Women only win .7 votes for every one a man wins.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What brand should suicidal people clearly avoid?

Nike. Their motto says just "Just do it".

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?

Aurora boring Alice.

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

Bone Jokes More Bone Jokes

How many bones are in the human hand?

A handful of them.

What's an archaeologist's favorite verb?

Bone.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What do you call an 80s band comrpising of only fruit?

Durian durian! im sorry

What type of fruit is impossible to marry?

Cantaloupe

Tooth Jokes More Tooth Jokes

What do read heads get when they don't brush their teeth?

Gingervitis Edit: redheads. I am a disgrace.

What's a dentists favorite time?

Tooth hurty

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...

What's the best thing about portugal?

You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till monday!