Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

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What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

geSTAHPo!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there ! Bug ! Bug who ?

Bug Rodgers !

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East?

Oman

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

Bug Bite Jokes More Bug Bite Jokes

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

What's the best kind of cream... ...to get rid of spots and bug bites?

Creamation.

Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

Why did the spider cross the road?

To get to his website!

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

Vw Jokes More Vw Jokes

Why do some people love their VW diesel cars?

Well, it's the official car of the New England Patriots after all.

Why do blondes drive VWs?

A: Because they can spell it.

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

What is the longest rope in the world?

Europe

Why is England so special?

Only they can pull out of Europe twice in a week.

Pregnant Elephant Jokes More Pregnant Elephant Jokes

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

How can you tell someone is a vegan, cross fitter, or an atheist?

alt) Make a joke about them, and then they'll get real offended.

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Vw Bug Jokes More Vw Bug Jokes

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug?

Tell them to take off their hats