Lol Jokes

Why can't americans play LoL?

They can't guard their towers.

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What did Muslim sonic say on June 5?

Gotta go fasting! LOL

What do you call Mexicans living in the USA?

Illegal aliens. LOL

Why are girls so hot?

because they lay out in the sun so much lol :P

Who are the most decent people in the hospital?

The ultrasound people.!! lol

Where do Polar Bears keep their money?

In the Snowbank. My first post is a dad joke LOL

What do you call Professor X doing a wheelie?

Professor + I'm sorry. lol.

What if they had a call center where they call you everyday with a mission to make you laugh?

But instead of a call center, they called it a lol center! So much lol, that it will make you fall!

What do you call someone who doesn't like The Simpsons?

A Homerphobe! LOL! Just made that up!

What happens when Supper stars fart in public?

lol

How do you get high underwater?

seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one

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What do ducks do at Christmas time?

They Duckerate cookies. ...lol...

Which one of the smurfs is the only one to recycle?

Smurfette, as she's the only one with a blue box! Lol

What is the worst place to go on Black Friday?

Awnser: Home Depot They have power tools lol

How do you LOL in N. Korea?

ROR! No one raugh in North Korea!

Who is that Idiot..?

If Boy is in love - His parent Ask: Idiot, Who is that Girl.. Moral :: No matter who ever is in love... Boys Are Always Idiot :P (LOL)

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

What does it look like when someone is drowning?

lol

Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips?

Because he's a waiter. (lol)

Why were my balls wet?

cause i dipped em' in the wishing well! LOL

Who's yo daddy?

Black girl: I dunno lol Black guy: Same lol

Whats Updog?

NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there

Why did the fruit leave office?

because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

What does a Men's Rights activist call a broken hand?

Celibacy. (Edit: LOL! Seems I've "triggered" some folks with broken hands and fedora collections.)

What even is that?

United States: Lol, we made it up.

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Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: "Nobody's perfect!"

What is another word for a python ?

A mega-bite !

Americans Jokes More Americans Jokes

Why can't americans play LoL?

They can't guard their towers.

Why is football the single best sport?

Because americans don't play it.

Lion Jokes More Lion Jokes

Why are lions more religious than other animals?

They prey regularly.

What do you call a lion with a fancy hat?

A dandy lion.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What does Michael Jackson have in common with a second place racehorse?

They both came in a little behind.

Why is food better than men?

Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away?

Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Usa Jokes More Usa Jokes

Why will the USA never go bankrupt?

It will just host a telethon.

Why wasn't Jesus born in the USA?

Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Mission Jokes More Mission Jokes

What do methheads and Mormons have in common?

They both ride bikes and go on missions.

What do mormons and tweakers have in common?

They both ride bikes and are on a mission.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Where's your better half?

The PS4's at home "No I mean-" Where WOULD it be Wow, dumb question.

How was I supposed to know they meant combined?

They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old