Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

My Dad laughing so hard - as he said "That's not funny!" Cat Gut

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

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What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Captain Picard Jokes More Captain Picard Jokes

What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why did the cat go to the doctors?

Because it wasn't feline well

What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

Why did the nun swallow a needle?

So she could know what it's like to have a prick inside her.

What's the easiest way to annoy an anti-vaxxer?

Needle them

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

What's the difference between the Holocaust and a goat?

You can't milk a goat for over 50 years

Thread Jokes More Thread Jokes

What is a joke that so stupid that is actually funny?

There was a thread months ago but i lost it...

What's both blue and purple and never seen again?

This thread :/

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the banker leave his job?

he lost interest

Whatever happened to the Bob the Builder kids show?

Handy Manny took his job.

Jean Luc Picard Jokes More Jean Luc Picard Jokes

How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard?

4 or 5.

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!