Whine Jokes

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

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What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine?

The engine stops whining after the plane lands.

What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

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What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What do you call a worker in America that will work hard for reasonable pay and never whine?

An immigrant.**

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

A: Leave it to peave her.

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Land Jokes More Land Jokes

What happens when you sing a country music song backwards?

You get your wife, truck, and land back.

Why don't native Americans like snow?

We don't like anything white on our land.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?

He wanted rich milk!

Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads?

A: They want to measure their intelligence.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?

A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

20 Year Old Jokes More 20 Year Old Jokes

How was I supposed to know they meant combined?

They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

Pitch Jokes More Pitch Jokes

Why did Micheal Jackson want to be a camp counselor?

He would give Merit Badges for pitching a tent.

Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch ?

So he could bring his 'sub' on

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

What does a colonial space marine and Europe have in common?

They are both xenophobic!

What did Ferris Bueller do after he graduated high school?

He went to Europe to study a-Broderick

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

What country can't be hacked?

Madagascar, because all their ports are closed.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call a woman who wants lots of compensation?

Sue.

How do you know Bono is selfish?

He does a lot of Pro-Bono work.