3 Year Old Jokes

Why do men carry condoms instead of women?

Because by the time women found a condom in their purses, kid would be 3 years old

This joke may have profanity.

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What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

What did I do in my 3-year-old?

I ate sand.

What's wrong ?

3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman :-o

Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

What does that cloud look like to you?

3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be 3-year-old: Rain.

What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

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What did you get me for Mother's Day?

3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it 3: You haven't made it yet.

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Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did the man with a stammer never get out of jail?

He couldn't finish his sentence.

Why was the paper man sent to jail?

He was caught rustling.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a deer without an eye?

No idear.

What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me, something smells. Credit: Christmas cracker.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more?

Philip Hoffman's belt.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do your mom and Jesus have in common?

They both got nailed

What does AF mean?

After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask 10: Mom said you were lazy AF.

Colour Jokes More Colour Jokes

What kind of ant can you colour with ?

A crayant !

What do you get if you put four economists in a white room and ask them what colour the walls are?

Four different answers

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office?

Because the devil takes many forms.

How many retards does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, line up so that I can find out..

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)

Why are there no Bruce Lee jokes?

Because Bruce Lee is no joke.

Nap Jokes More Nap Jokes

What do you call a relative of a nap?

A napkin.

Why do people go to the gym again?

Do they not know what a nap is