Bacon Jokes

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

Because he felt like BACON!

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What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

A communion wafer

What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

Why is it impossible to say no to french fries with cheese and bacon?

Because it's a loaded question!

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What did one sunbathing pig say to another?

I'm bacon.

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan?

Take their little stones and brooms away!

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What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs?

The Muppets

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit The Frog's fingers.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

Why doesn't god like bacon?

Because he isn't real.

What do Kermit The Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frog's finger...

What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I'm bacon!

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon. :P

How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?

You take away its tiny brooms.

Why did the bacon laugh?

Because the egg cracked a yolk.

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What was the pig doing in the kitchen?

Bacon! Get it?

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

How many narwhals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Bacon

What is small furry and smells like bacon ?

A hamster !

What do you call a policeman on fire?

Bacon.

How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away their little brooms!

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

What kind of tree smells like bacon?

Original ) A Porcupine!

What will you have, Sir?

Bacon my day, sonny!" Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

What did Freddy Mercury have for breakfast?

Bacon and AIDS (I'm so sorry Freddy)

Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ?

Bacon a cake for your birthday !

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger.

How can you tell if someone loves bacon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you that stupid vegan joke.

Why did the pig go in the kitchen?

To start some bacon

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

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What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

A communion wafer

What do Godzilla and shrimp have in common?

They both crustaceans

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How did Wendy die?

The baconator

What's Peter Pan's favorite restaurant?

A: Wendy's!

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What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

Why did the rapper scream into his Easter basket?

He wanted to give a shoutout to his peeps

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How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away their little brooms!

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How do Etheopians celebrate their first birthday?

By putting flowers on the grave

What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday?

For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad Ye, pharaoh-nuff

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What do a hurricane a tornado a fire and a divorce have in common?

They are four ways you can lose your house!

What do blacks and bikes have in common?

They both stop working when you take their chains off. Edit: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. By the way, got this from AskReddit.

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What is a mummies favorite genre of music?

Wrap

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

Kermit Finger Jokes More Kermit Finger Jokes

What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger