City Jokes

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

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Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What city are you in when you drop your waffle on the beach?

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO...there you are

What city does Affirmative Action Aslan live?

Kathmandu.

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city?

Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.

How do the French defend a city?

We don't know, they've never tried it.

What is the definition of irony?

Having a democratic debate in a city that was destroyed by over 50 years of democratic rule.

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

What city would you be in if you dropped your waffle on the beach?

Sandy ego.

What city is the favorite place for anti-Semites?

Juno

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How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Which city u cannot enter?

ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis?

Taking shellfies with their shellphones.

Where do mathematicians go to gamble?

Sine city

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man?

hopefully not a repost) The city supports the bench. Badum-tsss

What US city has the dirtiest frozen waffles?

San Diego

What do you call Abby who lives in the city?

Downtown Abby

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

Why is Paris the city of love?

Hard P and a soft A. Modified from comment section of reddit

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit ?

Osaka.

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What do you call ISIS after it has been completely destroyed?

WASWAS!

What did Muhammad Ali tell ISIS?

IsIs Pretty soon y'all gonna be WasWas !

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Why did Cersei Lannister sent princess Myrcella to Dorne?

She knew her family history a little too well. Myrcella had two brothers.

What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city?

Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.

Metro Gnome Jokes More Metro Gnome Jokes

What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A metro-gnome

What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?

A metro-gnome

Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

What did a black twin called his brother before they're born?

Inmates

What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did Mr &amp Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon?

A: But you cantaloupe!

What's your favorite pirate joke?

Friend has an eyepatch on for some reason or another and I'm running out of decent jokes.

Big Jokes More Big Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when Mr. Big proposed to him?

Noth"

Who's bigger?

Mr. Bigger Or Mr. Bigger's baby The baby, because it is a little Bigger.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What is commonly found in cells?

Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend?

He dates his other sister.

Why don't robots have brothers?

Because they all have trans-sisters