Colour Jokes

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

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What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

What do you get if you put four economists in a white room and ask them what colour the walls are?

Four different answers

What colour are my eyes?

Guy: 34C.

What happens when you drink food colouring?

You dye a little on the inside.

How are you related to the sun?

Because your teeth are the same colour as it.

What kind of ant can you colour with ?

A crayant !

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons

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Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes More Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?

He paints his hooves red.

How do you hide a elephant in a cherry tree?

Paint it's balls red. Howed Tarzan die Picking cherries.

Surgeon Jokes More Surgeon Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

Different Colour Jokes More Different Colour Jokes

What's the difference between a Blonde and a person with a different colour of hair?

The blonde sure doesn't know.

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box !

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Where does the bride of Frankenstein have her hair done?

At the ugly parlour.

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!

What's the similarity between Hellen Keller and a sad pirate?

Neither of them got to sea!

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb

What do you call the person that cleans the Mafia's hotel rooms?

A maid man.