Exercise Jokes

What does the captain of the USS Enterprise do for exercise?

Jean-Luc Picardio

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a gunman who exercises?

An active shooter!

What do the people of Skyrim use to exercise?

A Nordic Track.

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

How do college students exercise?

By swimming in their debt.

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

What does seven days without exercise make?

One weak!

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What is this world coming to?

Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops?

Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.

Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

What kind of exercise does Ned Flanders like to do?

Diddily-squats.

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

How often do you exercise?

About 3 to 4 times a week. "Be honest." 2003.

You might also enjoy:

College Student Jokes More College Student Jokes

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.

What do you call a person with ten dollars?

A college student.

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

Whats long and black and hard to cut into?

The line at KFC

What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS! ...Polly want a cracker.

Active Shooter Jokes More Active Shooter Jokes

What do you call a gunman who exercises?

An active shooter!

What do you call an angry black man?

Typical. What do you call an angry white man? Active shooter.

Captain Jokes More Captain Jokes

What is the captain of the starship enterprise's favorite drink?

Picardi and coke

Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?

Because the captain stood on the deck.

Gunman Jokes More Gunman Jokes

What do you call a gunman who exercises?

An active shooter!

Why was the gunman on a diet?

Because he was still at large.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What's the best way to ward off ghosts?

To which I replied: "a camera."

Where's the soap?

Yes, it does." she replies.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why is fruit so expensive?

I want some raspberries, not the tears of Jesus.

What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)