Medicine Jokes

What do you call a French dog that sells medicine?

Un phrarmachien!

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Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?

Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine?

He forgot.

What kind of medicine do bears take?

Bayer Asprin

What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up?

A: They went on stroke.

Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'

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Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

What medicine would you give an ill ant ?

Antibiotics !

What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?

Coffin medicine.

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What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

What's black and never works?

Decaf coffee.

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What do Amish people catch when they start using technology?

Mennonitis!

How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A what?

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why did the pig run away from the pig sty?

He felt that the other pigs were taking him for grunted.

What's Pink and Hard???

A Pig with a Flip Knife.

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How'd you catch it?

Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way.

What do you call the offspring of a black man and an octopus?

I don't know but it sure can pick a lot of cotton.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

Where were you on the night of the 5th?

Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape " leans in "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

Stomach Jokes More Stomach Jokes

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

What do you call a bison that's sick to his stomach?

A barffalo

Adhd Jokes More Adhd Jokes

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?

Let's go ride bikes!

Where do people with ADHD go?

To concentration camps.