Morning Wood Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

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Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

When does a Frenchman get his morning wood?

A bonne heure.

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

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Any place without a drive-up window.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A whole chuck-load.

Why do we call lady parts beavers?

Because they devour wood.

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What's the difference between black people and cancer?

Cancer got Jobs

Why did the invisible man turn down the job?

He couldn't see himself doing the work

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What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

What time of day is the saddest?

The mourning

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What did the dead blues musician sing?

Didn't wake up this morning..."

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Where did that list of dark jokes posted this morning go? Iv looked everywhere.

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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?

A headbanger !

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What do necrophiliacs get at funerals?

Mourning wood.

What do you call a sad Ent?

Mourning wood.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.