Old Lady Jokes

Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She didn't see that well

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What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

How do you get three old ladies to say the "F" word?

Yell "BINGO!"

What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo.

What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo!

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Why did it take three burly Boy Scouts to help the old lady across the street?

A: Because she didn't want to go.

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?

A. Bingo!

Why did the old lady throw the clock outside her window?

SHE WAS MENTALLY ILL!!!!!!

How do you get four old ladies to say the F word?

Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!

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Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair?

A: She wanted to rock and roll

How do you get a little old lady to say the f* word?

Get another old lady to say "BINGO!"

What does it taste like when you go down... What does it taste like when you go down on an old lady?

Depends...

What happens when you scare an old lady?

Depends.

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Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why don't Pokemon cards ever have any typos?

Because the editors know that they gotta catch 'em all!

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts?

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts? He was caught playing with his broomstick.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How's my hair?

My clothes How do I look (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy.

Why does an elephant have 4 Feet?

Because it would look ridiculous with 8 inches.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What has five arms, three legs and a head?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon

How do you stop a hippie from drowning?

Take your combat boot off his head.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

Why didn't the girl go into the haunted house?

She didn't have the balls.

What do you call someone who worships balls?

Sack-religious.

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

What's worse than finding Astroglide on your Mom's shopping list?

Finding an empty bottle in the trash.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where do you want me to put my clothes?

She says, "On top of mine."

Why are all early birds Catholics?

Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms.

Yodel Jokes More Yodel Jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel!

Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who?

Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!

75 Jokes More 75 Jokes

What is your opinion on women making 75% of a man's wages for the same job?

I said "Congratulations!!!"

What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo!