Thyme Jokes

Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

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Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

Why was the chef mad?

He had all the money in the world, but no thyme.

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

Why do herb pickers have so many hobbies?

They've got a lot of thyme on their hands

What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds. :D

Why is the Doctor an excellent chef?

He's a Thyme Lord

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

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What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing."

Why did blonde open a fishcan in a shop?

Because on top of it was written : Open here.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call a promiscuous woman who travels a lot?

Abroad.

How many years of experience do you have?

50 - Really You are 40 years old - I had lots of overtime

Heal Jokes More Heal Jokes

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds. :D

What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!

Accomplish Jokes More Accomplish Jokes

What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished?

Decomposing

Why is steak harder to cook than spinach?

It takes a lot more thyme to accomplish.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did no one laugh at the hot dogs joke?

Because it was too cheesy. I work at a hot dog stand and tell this from time to time.

What time is it when a Muslim immigrant brings a clock to school in Texas?

Time to get a new principal.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

How do you make a hamburger green?

Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!

What do you call mixing hard liquor into coffee?

Getting ready for work

Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

How are Americans and poles similar?

Running into one could really ruin your day.