Watson Jokes

Why did Sherlock Holmes get a colonoscopy?

It's alimentary, Watson.

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What did Watson and Crick study to find DNA?

Rosalind Franklin's notes.

What type of rock is this Holmes?

It's sedimentary my dear Watson!

How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?

They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"

What education should a private detective have?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

What is Sherlock Holmes' favorite tree?

A-lemon-tree my dear Watson.

What are you planting?

said Watson. "It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson."

What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around?

Holmeless

How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson."

How old is this girl?

Elementary, my dear Watson."

What the hell is that?

Sherlock responds, "A lemon tree my dear Watson."

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What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner?

Sedimentary my dear Watson!

Where did you get so many lemons?

Holmes replies, "A lemon tree, Watson.."

What do you suppose broke this window Mr. Holmes?

It's a limb entry, my dear Watson!

What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?

Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

Watson the menu

How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

What up Holmes?

Watson

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why are statistics more believable with a larger sample size?

The Ns justify the means.

Whatya doin?

Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my resume W: You mean Plumber M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST

Letter Word Jokes More Letter Word Jokes

What four letter word has made the biggest impact in the modern world?

Send.

What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?

Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7.. 8.. 9

What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?

A virus does something.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

What type of battery does The Fonz use?

AAAA

Education Jokes More Education Jokes

Where did you receive your education?

Me: Yale Interviewer: Wow! When did you graduate Me: I yust got out in Yuly

What education should a private detective have?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Who slept with my wife?

and in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."

What did the man reply to his friend that found a good paying job taking care of mentally challenged people?

Answer: Oh, so it has its ups and downs.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when a hiptser is a good secret agent?

You've never heard of him.

What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany?

Uncertainty or indifference ' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do a walrus and a zip-lock bag have in common?

They're both looking for a tight seal.

What, why?

is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god