Lemon Jokes

Where do lemons go to jail?

Lemonworth

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a lemon staring at an elderly lady?

Citric Flaccid

What do you call a Jamaican redditor?

Lemon

What do quantum physicists do when life gives them lemons?

Everything

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common? .. They both like a tight seal *What looks like a lemon and shaped like a rock? .. A lemon shaped rock *What is brown and sticky? ..A brown stick

Why did the lemon go sour?

Because it had Lemon-Aids

What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer?

Thtop taking the pith out of me!

How are synagogues like lemons?

They're full of acidic juice.

How do you help a lemon?

Lemon-aid.

What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?

A. A Dino-sour 2.Q. Were do robots go to worship A. Mech-a

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes?

Inzest

How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson."

Where did you get so many lemons?

Holmes replies, "A lemon tree, Watson.."

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

Why did the lemon turn green?

Because he had lime disease

What's your favorite preservative salt, vinegar, lemon?

Mine's embalming fluid.

What did the dyslexic man do when life gave him lemons?

He made melon-ade

Why are crocodiles brown and flat?

A: Because if they were yellow and round, they'd be lemons.

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

You might also enjoy:

Pith Jokes More Pith Jokes

Why did the orange fall out with the orange-peeler?

Because he was taking the pith. /gets coat. bai.

What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer?

Thtop taking the pith out of me!

Watson Jokes More Watson Jokes

How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?

They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"

What education should a private detective have?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

Why did they plant trees in Harlem?

Public transportation.

What happens when you plant a sesame seed?

Does a sesame grow What is a sesame Where my botanists at Where the hell am I

Lisp Jokes More Lisp Jokes

What's long green and goes hith ?

A snake with a lisp !

What do you call a dirty drug addict with a lisp?

Methy

A. Jokes More A. Jokes

Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned?

A. Because of their loco motives

Why did the line dancer cross the dance floor?

A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Whatever shall we do?

Let us spray!" replied the other.

What's with those clogs you keep wearing?

I replied, "Wooden shoe like to know."

Elderly Lady Jokes More Elderly Lady Jokes

What do you call a lemon staring at an elderly lady?

Citric Flaccid

How do you get an elderly lady to say f***?

Get another one to say bingo

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

How can that help in this job?

You do the math"

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.