Yard Jokes

How many feet are in a yard?

4 if you have a dog.

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Who do you call about stray cats walking around your yard?

Brian Setzer

What do you do when you see your neighbour staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

Why does no one want to work in the yard with a carpenter?

Because they take a fence to that.

What animal brings the most boys to the yard?

The

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.

What's the difference between one yard and two yards?

A: A fence.

What flavor is the milkshake?

How far away is the yard How could you know its better than mine You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident.

What if I buried it in the yard?

me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

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How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?

Put him in your back yard.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

What's the range of an accordion?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What is the range of a tuba?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.

How do you keep black people out of your back yard?

Hang one in the front!

How big do you suppose that fence is?

I reckon that fence is around a yard."

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What do you call a detective from Glasgow with three feet?

A Scotland Yard.

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Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

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What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

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It's a touchy subject.

What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

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What's the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus?

It only took 1 nail to hang the picture.

How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM

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What do r/jokes subscribers and Catholic priests have in common?

Both think the shorter the better.

How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

CHANGE !

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What went wrong in the Challenger launch?

NASA: have you ever built a space ship Reporter: well no bu- NASA: it's really hard

What's the highest story of any building?

Floor 20