What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

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Door Jokes More Door Jokes

How does a muslim man close a door?

Islams it!

What did the vinaigrette say to the refrigerator?

Close the door! I'm dressing!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What does Michael Jackson have in common with a second place racehorse?

They both came in a little behind.

When you're away on a business trip, do you think about me?

Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What if I buried it in the yard?

me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do women and hand grenades have in common?

When you pull the ring off, your house goes away

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

How was your interview?

Munnu : It went good, but lastly they asked me show them my testimonial. Chunnu : So Munnu : I think I showed them the wrong thing.

State Jokes More State Jokes

What are the four most common types of states of matter?

Solid, gas, liquid and Black Lives.

Which state has the smallest sodas?

Minesoda

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

When is it okay to spit an arab woman in the face?

When her moustache is on fire!

What's the difference between racism and the chinese people?

Racism has many faces...

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team?

She kept running away from the ball.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you shut up a deaf person?

Punch them in the hands.

What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

Clean Jokes More Clean Jokes

Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

Why is it NASA has never sent a woman to the moon?

It don't need cleaning!

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing?

He had deadlines to meet

What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time?

They shake hands.

Broom Jokes More Broom Jokes

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away its brooms.

Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip of the broom. :)

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did the chicken walk into the bar?

To screw in the lightbulb.

What's a rabbi's favorite type of bar?

It's sure as hell not a bar-mitzvah, those things are expensive.

Gut Jokes More Gut Jokes

Why did the skeleton burp in the church ?

He didn't have the guts to fart

Why did the zombie cross the road?

To get his guts back. My three year old made that one up, I though it was pretty good :)

Skunk Jokes More Skunk Jokes

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?

Just a phew!

When should you feel sorry for a skunk?

When its spray pump is out of order!

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents?

Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano

How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable?

He tried to stirrup some interest!

Lipstick Jokes More Lipstick Jokes

Why do Angelina Jolie's shirts have such big pockets?

For her lipstick!

Why do they call it "Lipstick?

When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it

Chubby Jokes More Chubby Jokes

What kind of people like Scottie's hair?

Chubby 7th grade girls!

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

Scent Jokes More Scent Jokes

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

How do skunks like their e-mails?

Scent.