Consider Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why is camping considered an intense sport?

Because it's intense

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community?

Because he was transitioning.

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

Why are the Irish considered lucky?

It's because they're always drunk as hell.

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

Why does the German dad scare all the other kids?

Because he is ein Brtiger! The shirt should say it all. And I'm considering getting one.

Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist?

Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero.

What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of?

Plutocracy

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

Why were there no black people in the Flintstones?

Because they were still considered monkeys.

Where is the only place engineers are considered artistic?

Brooklyn

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why is Rene Descartes considered a thinker?

Because he is.

Why was William considered a enemy?

Because, His last name was Dafoe

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs?

They're able to make a fun-gal cream.

Who do you think the scariest POTUS was?

I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt?

A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform.

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Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

Why did Satan keep growing his herb garden even when his oregano died each time?

Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme.

Chicken Sedan Jokes More Chicken Sedan Jokes

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

How many doors are on a chicken coop?

Two. If there were four, it would be a chicken sedan

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties?

A pitcher filled with margaritas!

What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's a Jamaican snowman's favorite song?

Snowoman no cry.

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

Shirt Jokes More Shirt Jokes

How does Snoop Dogg keep his shirts so white?

BLE-YATCH!

How about this one?

Psychic: That shirt is too small. Employee: You didn't even try it on. Psychic: I'm a medium.

Scare Jokes More Scare Jokes

What do coffee beans say to scare their friends?

Brew.

Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?

not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7

What do you call 2 chainz on steroids?

2-Gainz

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School?

Just planning ahead...

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels