Consider Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

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Why is camping considered an intense sport?

Because it's intense

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community?

Because he was transitioning.

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

Why are the Irish considered lucky?

It's because they're always drunk as hell.

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

Why does the German dad scare all the other kids?

Because he is ein Brtiger! The shirt should say it all. And I'm considering getting one.

Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist?

Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero.

What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of?

Plutocracy

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What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

Why were there no black people in the Flintstones?

Because they were still considered monkeys.

Where is the only place engineers are considered artistic?

Brooklyn

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why is Rene Descartes considered a thinker?

Because he is.

Why was William considered a enemy?

Because, His last name was Dafoe

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs?

They're able to make a fun-gal cream.

Who do you think the scariest POTUS was?

I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt?

A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to fix it?

Asparagus. (A spare, I guess)

Why did the sauce need a night light?

Because he was alfredo the dark!

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why isnt suntanning an Olympic sport?

Because the best you can get is bronze.

How did the Australian make the Olympics?

He koala-fied!!!!! Buh-duh-tss

Chicken Sedan Jokes More Chicken Sedan Jokes

What do you call a chicken coup with more than two doors?

A chicken sedan.

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if they had four they'd be called chicken sedans!

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Who are you supposed to be?

4: A ninja.

Why are there 2 doors on a chicken coupe?

Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan

Camp Jokes More Camp Jokes

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Where do the Greek X-men sleep when camping?

Mu-tents

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?

You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.

Why people cry during the weddings?

they are preparing for whats coming afterwards

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What's in an Irish 7 course meal?

A 6 pack and a potato.

What do you call an Irish midget?

Whatever their name is, you insensitive jerk.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

What did the lonely lumberjack use to get laid?

TINDERRRRR!!!!