Cousin Jokes

What did the two rednecks say after breaking up?

Let's just be cousins.

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What's faster than a black man running with a tv?

His cousin with the DVD player

What did the redneck say to his ex?

Can we still be cousins?"

What's the worst hereditary disease?

Cousins

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper

Why does a redneck find his cousin more attractive than a stranger?

Because it's all relative.

Why did Albert Einstein marry his cousin?

Because she was his relative

How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

What does the south call friends with benefits?

Cousins.....

What Does A Redneck Call It When He Visits His Cousin Outside His Town?

Entering the friend zone.

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

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What do two rednecks say to each other after a break up?

Let's go back to being cousins.

Why did Einstein marry his cousin?

It's all relative.

How many hillbillies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2. A man, his wife, and his cousin

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

What music you into?

Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too thinking of something to say to impress her Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin

What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?

A spot-weiler!

What does non-alcoholic beer and going down on you cousin have in common?

Sure they taste the same, but it just ain't right.

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7 Year Old Jokes More 7 Year Old Jokes

What's the definition of a redneck virgin?

A 7 year-old girl who can run faster than her brothers.

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Because they can only say "neigh!" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary.

Farm Jokes More Farm Jokes

Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?

She was pasteurized!

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers . (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. ) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke .

Texan Jokes More Texan Jokes

Why was the Texan afraid of the clock?

Because it reminded him that time was moving forward.

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Barbara Walters and Oprah?

Oprahs Black

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones sing "Hey You! Get off of my cloud!" A Scotsman shouts "Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

2 hippos and a LOT of root beer.

How Does Snoop Dogg Do His Laundry?

He uses a lot of BLEAYOTCH!

Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

How did Charlie Sheen contract HIV?

By banging 7-gram rocks.

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house?

Because he is an ex-Terminator.