Desk Jokes

What would be funny about Hillary as president?

That she would be sitting at the desk that Monica once kneeled under!

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Why does the Asian News Anchor not stand up from behind his desk during presidential races?

because he's covering an erection!

How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?

His desk is level

What's the sound that 10 stubby fingers make on a desk?

Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf...*

Why are you naked & why is Greg under your desk?

Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave

Why are you sleeping at your desk?

Me: Because my bed is at home.

Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.

What did the floor say to the desk?

I can see your drawers!

Why did you hit me with your chair?

Me: Because my desk is too heavy.

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Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk?

A: He wanted to work overtime.

What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?

A: Half a measure.

What the band's name?

me: looking over desk for ideas Inbox(29)

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President Jokes More President Jokes

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

What did the Mexican wife say to her Husband?

You'll never be president, Jeb.

Edgar Allen Poe Jokes More Edgar Allen Poe Jokes

What did Edgar Allen Poe name his cat?

Poepurry

Where does Edgar Allen Poe get his mail?

at his P.O. Box

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

When is the month when the most trees fall?

Sep-timber

What does December have that other months dont have?

The letter D.

Adjust Jokes More Adjust Jokes

What do you call that lever on a desk chair that adjusts lower back support?

The Lumbar Jack

What do the American dollar and the American dress size have in common?

Both have had to adjust for inflation.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How do girls know when they are adults?

When they start to like spankings

What's your chicken sandwich called?

A McChicken And the rib -A McRib pulls out his batwallet I like your style.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrg, it's driving me nuts!"

Who's driving the car?

Theres a muslim a mexican and black guy in a car, whos driving .. **The cops**

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound?

If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.