Disease Jokes

What disease does a married man have?

onejina

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you call a Spartan king with a disease?

Leonitis

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment?

ma'lady

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

What disease do Spartans get the most?

Leon-itis.

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

What disease do terrible parkers have?

parkin'sins

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

plague-arism

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

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What's the disease that slowly turns your skin black?

Rap Music

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks?

A mallard-y

What does a neckbeard call his imaginary girlfriend and his disease?

Ma'lady

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?

M'laria.

What's the only disease a potato can get?

tuber-culosis

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What disease does a mad scientist have?

boffin spongiform encephalopathy

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

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What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

What disease does a married man have?

onejina

Canarial Disease Jokes More Canarial Disease Jokes

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

What do you get when you kiss a bird?

Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!

Organ Jokes More Organ Jokes

What is better than a rose on a piano?

Tulips on the organ. (I'll show myself out...)

What did one ovary say to the other one?

What did one ovary say to the other one? "Did you order any furniture?" "No. Why?" asked the other. "Cause there's two nuts out there trying to deliver an organ."

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why don't they tell jokes in base 8?

Because seven ten eleven!

What did the web server told the browser?

My &ltBODY&gt is ready. What did the browser answer Please give me &ltHEAD&gt first.

Pms Jokes More Pms Jokes

How many women with PMS does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT JUST DOES, OKAY?

What do mad cow disease and PMS have in common?

Angry heifers.

One Jokes More One Jokes

How can you spot a racist in a crowd?

They're the ones shouting "Black Lives Matter!"

What does Brown Santa say?

Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's."

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?

Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can't tuna fish!

Smart Midget Jokes More Smart Midget Jokes

What's the difference between a smart midget... What's the difference between a smart midget and a woman with a venereal disease?

Well, one's a cunning runt...

Whats the difference between a smart midget and a venereal disease?

Ones a cunning runt...