Pervert Jokes

How did the two perverts break up?

I think we should see other peepholes."

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Why did Frosty drop his pants?

Because he's a pervert that likes showing people his snowballs.

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out?

A piece of gum, you pervert!

What did the pervert get for Christmas?

A partial in a pear tree.

What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out?

A chewing gum you pervert

Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?

Because he can see the D

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out.

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

Where does the pervert keep the underwear he steals?

In his briefcase!

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

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What do a carjacker and pervert have in common?

They're always cracking in-ya-windows!

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't pull out of the chicken

How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb?

Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again.

What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert?

A daydreamer stares out of windows.

How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb?

One. But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it.

How do you know that Ash Ketchum is a pervert?

Because he always takes a Pik-at-chu

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

Why did the pervert like to watch girls in their entrance hallways?

He was a foyer.

How many perverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist?

A pervert.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out.

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Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

Why is picture of Jesus better than Jesus himself?

You only need one nail to hang up the picture.

Snowball Jokes More Snowball Jokes

What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?

They're both brown except the snowball.

What's The Difference Between Snowmen, & Snow Women?

Snowballs.

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.

What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

About three inches.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do the Welsh like to do in their private time?

Oh, sorry guys. It would've been a baaaaaa-d joke.

What would you like it to be ?

A joke .

Pedrophile Jokes More Pedrophile Jokes

What do you call a Mexican child molester?

A Pedrophile

What do you call a Mexican pervert?

A pedrophile

Regard Jokes More Regard Jokes

Why is auto correct regarded as an important invention?

Because it's mage tipping berry ready for us. Obligatory edit: very easy for us

What do you call a Muslim optometrist who has no regards for his patients?

Asif Eyecare

B Jokes More B Jokes

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!

Why is moving to Canada always plan B?

Canada deserves to be plan eh.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

Why did little Dan dropped his ice cream?

He was hit by a buss