Propose Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage, you wanna?

How did the pothead propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage.. you wanna?"

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

What did Shakespeare say when Mr. Big proposed to him?

Noth"

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

How do you propose to a stoner?

Marriage, you wanna

How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake?

It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question.

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Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend?

With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry.

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend?

With arroz.

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

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Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

Colony Jokes More Colony Jokes

What does the rest of the colony call an old ant?

An antique.

Where does a lonely ant go when it is separated from its colony?

I have no idea, but this looks like a good joke. So post your proposals in comments.

Tumble Jokes More Tumble Jokes

What do a slinky and your mother in law have in common?

They're both fun to watch tumble down stairs.

What is a terrorist's favorite board game?

Tumbling Towers.

Telephone Jokes More Telephone Jokes

What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone?

He grew up to be a bellhop!

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog?

A golden receiver!

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong?

Because the rest are weekdays.

Why are notes natural leaders?

Because while a note makes a sound, the rest is silent.

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Why did the melon have commitment issues?

Because he cantaloupe

Big Jokes More Big Jokes

How do I big it?

Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.

Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?

Mr. Bigger's baby, because he's just a little Bigger.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

Why didn't Oscar Pistorius get a new bathroom door?

Because his wife was dead-set against it...