Propose Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage, you wanna?

How did the pothead propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage.. you wanna?"

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

What did Shakespeare say when Mr. Big proposed to him?

Noth"

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

How do you propose to a stoner?

Marriage, you wanna

How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake?

It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question.

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Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend?

With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry.

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend?

With arroz.

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

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Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

Why do Ukrainians not like being late?

They don't wanna be rushin

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

How do we not know what women want yet?

There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

Colony Jokes More Colony Jokes

Where does a lonely ant go when it is separated from its colony?

I have no idea, but this looks like a good joke. So post your proposals in comments.

What does the rest of the colony call an old ant?

An antique.

Climb Jokes More Climb Jokes

What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress?

Queen Kong.

Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

Knot Jokes More Knot Jokes

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

What's a sailor's favorite kind of knot?

It's a tie.

Melon Jokes More Melon Jokes

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do Wolverine and Bruce Jenner have in common?

They are both X-Men

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

What's the difference between a princess and a witch?

2 years of marriage.