Propose Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage, you wanna?

How did the pothead propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage.. you wanna?"

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

What did Shakespeare say when Mr. Big proposed to him?

Noth"

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

How do you propose to a stoner?

Marriage, you wanna

How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake?

It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question.

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Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend?

With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry.

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend?

With arroz.

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

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Separate Jokes More Separate Jokes

Why do Newfies want Qubec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!

What's the most racist place in a house?

The laundry room. It's the only place where the blacks have to be separated from the whites.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

Why do the Japaneese have squinty eyes?

Do you have any idea how bright a nuke is

What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...

Cornflake Jokes More Cornflake Jokes

How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake?

It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question.

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket?

Because the label said General Foods.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the flat iron say to the follicle?

Now let me get this straight . . .

What did one cancer cell say to the other cancer cell ?

Let's go get Jobs.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

What is best potato?

Latvian potato is best potato. Is kind you spend whole life looking for. Also, low calories.

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

Why can't guys do the splits?

The banana gets in the way. Banana split

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do men and beer bottles have in common?

They are both empty from the neck up.

What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men?

A pastryarchy.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.