Robber Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

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Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

What did the robber with an errection say?

This is a stick-up.

Why'd the robber take a bath?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.

How does one robber ask another how they're doing?

How are you holding up?"

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

What do you call a robber who looks like David Beckham?

Bandit like Beckham

What did the cheese vendor say to the robber?

Hey! That's nacho cheese!"

Why do robbers steal money?

Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don't they just steal the stuff She's a criminal mastermind.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.

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What game did the dentist play when she was a child?

Caps and robbers

Why did the robber take a bath?

So he could make a clean getaway.

Why was the robber so secure?

He was a safe robber.

What does a Browns fan say to a robber?

I hate the steelers.

What did the Asian police dog say to the robber?

Fleas!

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Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Whats long and black and hard to cut into?

The line at KFC

How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Ceasars

Wreck Ball Jokes More Wreck Ball Jokes

What's black, and breaks into houses?

A wrecking ball

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Suit Jokes More Suit Jokes

Which actor is best suited for a programmer role?

Dev Patel.

What is Superman when he removes his suit?

Man.

Bale Jokes More Bale Jokes

Why is hay so unreliable?

It keeps baleing

Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

Trap Jokes More Trap Jokes

What do you call a reindeer trapped in a storm?

A Thundeer

What does a cat say when its trapped in a box?

Let MEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWt

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why did Sepp Blatter resign from the FIFA president position?

He just couldn't hold it any longer.

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How do Asians execute white people?

They cut off their heads using a Gweilotine.

Why do ostriches have long necks?

Because their heads are so far from their bodies!

Football Player Jokes More Football Player Jokes

Why did the football player laugh when he broke his arm?

Because it was humerus.

How can you tell baseball players are smarter than football players?

When was the last time you saw a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?